alifah and athirah told me that red cross practice yesterday was fun. but i doubt it. all they did was some community singing and footdrill. what kind of fun is that classified under? i wonder. slacker's perception of fun? sorry, but i dont mean to insult my CCA that way. i told my CCA members that i feel the urge to go back but i dont dare to. which is actually the truth. its either red cross or chinese orchestra now. but i think i'm not the performing arts typo. nor am i the slacker's uniform group typo. so how now? its better having no CCA, i guess. going back to red cross would be so meangingless now. since i have intentions to miss the trainings, which i actually did, then i should fight for my so-called "human rights". haha. its such a shame to go back when you actually failed to do so in the first place. i wont want all the people persuading me to go back, its like so "in the limelight". i dont wanna attract attention so the best solution is the change CCA, or to a greater extent change school. haha. which is definitely in my dreams! chinese orchestra is pretty challenging and tedious which is equal to TOUGH. basically in music, it tests your patience, your ability to understand instructions, and determination and perserverance. just the exact criteria of a CCA i aspire to join. HA! my charity draw tickets are still with me. goddammit. i dont want to have any links or connections with my school's red cross anymore. its such a waste to leave red cross, but i'm drained with no choice.... lennard said he wanna go jogging with me today in the afternoon but hes backing out now. what the..... so till here and so long!