The 20th 24

I turned 20 today. Been through a whole lot of nonsense. And yes, just recently got out of the operating theatre alive. What a relief. Anaesthesia works great. I guess that's what death is like. You know, just falling asleep without knowing. Knocking out in just a few seconds.

I guess that's how Grandma felt before her demise. Recently, granny passed away. Plenty of questions spring up in my head. Was she in huge pain before she left? Was she struggling to catch her breath? Was she scared? Where is she now? I am sorry I haven't got to see her in such a long time. She's a lovely lady.

You may think, hey, why are you sounding so morbid on your birthday? Here I am about to celebrate the 20 years since I have been born and talking about death? I just think I have grown a lot. Learnt how unpredictable life can be, learnt to cherish what I have and importantly, learnt how to survive in difficult circumstances.

I can't fully say I look foward to this day, my birthday I mean. The 'A's results are due to be released soon. I am a bundle of nerves. So scared that I can't even describe to you or even want to tell you how terrified I really am deep down.

Watching. Waiting. Hoping.

Just like you are too.